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Hi P and G,

I feel your pain! Paige hit it on the head when she connected the dots between the Maine school board madness and freak dancing. Of course children need birth control at that age when we, as adults, allow (submit, surrender..) to that kind of behavior at a school dance.

The bad news is that the only way it can be controlled is by way of extreme numbers of chaperones who are vigilant throughout the dance. Also, there needs to be consequences for the action. At our middle school dances, we invite neighboring schools to attend. (Ours is a small Episcopal school - about 175 middle schoolers) When some students from a neighbor school were in violation of our dance rules, they were pulled aside and parents were called to collect the kids. It is a powerful message of zero tolerance, but it resonates with the kids, and the limits are unambiguous.

At the HS level, the same holds true. Rather than parents, teachers supervise the dances and there is a zero tolerance for that kind of dancing. I am sure some kids see it as a challenge and get away with it, but the school culture makes it clear that it is not allowed and the kids have fun at the dances without “freaking”. Again, this is a smaller HS, enrollment of 1500, not 3000, and maybe those numbers make it easier to supervise and manage behavior. This is a Roman Catholic Diocesan HS, and we are in California, too - not exactly the Bible belt.

So… my point is - it can be controlled, if the parents, administrators, and community buy into a set of expectations for behavior and back up these expectations with tangible consequences. It is also essential to have adequate supervision that reflects your school enrollment.

Good luck!

Oh Leslie! I SO wish we could get all the parents to agree and come together the way your community has. I agree that the consequences that you are describing would be very effective unfortunately we can’t get a majority of the parents to understand that this behavior is unacceptable. Thanks so much for your input. At least we know that it is possible to keep the behavior appropriate at the school dances.

Look 11, 12,13,or even 14 is to young. u need to start ackting like a mom and not a friend. if u let ur child take birth control ur asking for a young pregnance. beleave me my put me on birth control at 12 by 16 iwas pg with my first kid. when she got them for me it made me feel like she was giveing me permision to have sex. i thought she knows so i can “i’m on birth coontrol”. And it should be up to the perents if their child is on birth control no a school.

I don’t think middle school is too younge at all. I’m an 18 year old mother to a boy who is almost 1. I got pregnant at 16, my boyfriend 15. Yes its younge, but he wasnt my first sexual partner either. I don’t concider myself trashy in a bit of a way but anymore kids are starting younger! I was a straight A student with a full ride to FSU, I was on the soccer team, drama club, math team, volleyball team and much more, my mom would have never thought this would happen to me. I can’t count the number of abortions I know of amoung the kids I’ve gone to school with. Kids mutare much faster these days, it does NOT give us any right to have sex but with conditions how they are, it happens. Kids are starting to party younger, sex is always on TV, younge parents are at every school, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? I grew up in a VERY disaplined family. My mom knew where I was every second of the day, or so she thought. I dont think parents realize how easy it is to get away with things. My mom loves my son more then I could of ever imagine her being able to, but she will tell you today this would all have been prevented if she would have put me on the pill. We wouldn’t give my son up for the world but if my mom would have stopped worry about what I couldn’t do and would have started to realize i was going to do things anyways I would be a senior in highschool now graduating this year with straight A’s rather then being a mommy. My parents never gave me the talk and I was always AFRAID to ask about the pill. This is not too younge, I was in 8th grade and thought I was in love when I had my first sexual partner. I now know that a petty crush was all it was but when your younge and in a realtionship things seem a lot different. I think if a child is mature enough to take these things from their school then let them, I think every mother out there should feel much better about it because either way it might happen, and you would rather be safe then sorry!